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Kar Kei




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Tuesday, October 26, 2010, 7:35 PM
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house. That don't bother me. I can take a few tears now and then. I just let 'em out. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while. Even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days and again I pretend I'm okay. But that's not what gets me. What hurts the most was being so close. Having so much to say. And watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been. And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do..

Oh goddd. It's been slightly over a month since THAT happened. Tell me why I'm still not over it. What is the matter with me? I couldn't even get what I wanted today. How stupid was that? I wanted to get ice-cream sooo badly. When I was walking there, I saw you walking in the same direction and I was like "Oh f*ck. Please tell me you're getting a drink." You stopped at the ice-cream place and instead of getting what I wanted like a normal person, I just walked right past and grabbed a 100 plus like that was what I wanted to get in the first place. Only now I am regretting so badlyyy. I should have bought that. Cos' now I'm craving for it. Like REALLY craving for it. :( *sigh* And of course, I'm still keeping up the "I don't care" act. You're probably convinced. I try my best to laugh as often as I can. And talk to everyone like I'm really happy and I remember the best moments ever. I joke around and stuff. But like, I dunno. I dun want to keep doing this. I mean, not every part of it is an act. I do feel happy sometimes. Everything would be good. Right until the moment when I start thinking about you or I see you. Then it's like I put a gray cloud to cover up the sunshine. Oh goshhh. I feel so moody. Let's change the subject and put it on a positive note alright? We have full day rehearsal tomorrow! YAYYYY. No lessons. Okay fine. I'm supposed to be committed and whatever. To pay attention. Be the perfect student. Well, sorry but I just can't help it. When I study, I feel like I have a headache. Oh goddd. So yeah. Okay, I have nothing more to say. Bye for now.