I'm tired of being what you me to be. Feeling so faithless. Lost under the surface. Don't know what you're expecting of me. Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. And every second I waste is more than I can take. I've become so numb. I can't feel you there. Become so tired. So much more aware. I'm becoming this. All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.

Same average day. At some point, I felt terrible though. I don't know why and I can't remember when. But I know I did. So Nationals, how are your exams? Good luck for them. I love you guys. I can't believe we are having IT tomorrow again. HAHAHAH. It's going to be awesomeeee. It's gonna be so funny. I need to laugh again man. And oh, tomorrow's a Friday! OMGGG. FINALLY. I mean I love school but sometimes, there's just so much pressure. The homework, probation and my will to not break down in school. Trying to give off that "I'm perfect" image because I have no choice. == And everything that I do now in school, I feel like I'm being watched. Wherever I am. No sneaking around anymore. Sometimes, I miss the excitement and the thrill of knowing we won't get caught. Cos' right now, I can't even try that. I have to be good. == And maybe that's just not me. I can be good. But so can everyone. Everyday, I feel so exhausted. When I come home, all I want to do is just relax and be able to do what I want to. Lock myself in my room for privacy. Put on my earphones and turn up the music. I love music. I can drown in it and think. I just want to be happy.