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Kar Kei




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A Lonely September
Sunday, January 23, 2011, 8:34 PM
I'm sitting here all by myself, just trying to think of something to do. Trying to think of something, anything. Just to keep me from thinking of you. But you know it's not working out cos' you're all that's on my mind. One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind. Well, I didn't mean for it to go as far as it did. And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did. And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did. And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did. I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that you're not the one for me. But the more I think, the less I believe it and the more I want you here with me. You know the holidays are coming up. I don't want to spend them alone. Memories of Christmas time with you will just kill me if I'm on my own. I know it's not the smartest thing to do. We just can't seem to get it right. But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight. One more chance tonight. I'm sitting here trying to entertain myself with this old guitar. But with all my inspiration gone, it's not getting me very far. I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you. Oh please, baby won't you take my hand? We've got nothing left to prove.

I know this song is like really sad. But somehow, it fits what I'm feeling. I'm not sad. But I'm not happy. Just feeling quite solemn. I won't say why cos' I feel like I've said enough in the past. There's so much to do. So much to think about. What I want. What I need. What I don't need to bother about. The tons of homework is not helping at all. Keeping me occupied used to be a good thing. But it doesn't work anymore. Whatever I do, nothing's changing. If only I did that one little thing that I should have done a couple months back. I know this is no time for regrets. But don't tell me that you've never once looked back and think that maybe you should have done something you didn't. I guess there's nothing more to say. Nothing's going to change anyway. Might as well focus on reality. And do the pile of homework on my desk.